Where My Nerdy Girls At!?

What’s a girl to do, when she moves to a new town and has no friends to call her own??? In this new tech-savvy world we live in, look towards the internet of course! We are living in a world where women are encouraged to look down upon ourselves and each other, which makes seeking new female friendships a daunting task. So you must wonder, how can someone find positive and strong, female role models to look up to on the internet? You go where the Nerdy Girls go, that’s where. This is the tale of my experience with moving to a new town and finding a group on Meetup.com, that helped me find positive friendships as well as helped me flourish into my own person. This is the story of Emma and the STL Nerdy Girls.

Off to the Town of Transplants

Saint Louis, Missouri. A small metropolis in the Midwest that is often overlooked by its big brother Chicago, has a lot more going on for itself than even I would have imagined. For the most part, the decision to move to Saint Louis seemed to be a blind move for my husband and I. We did not have a place to live, we had no jobs waiting for us and we had moments of doubt and even questioning our sanity for making this change. Many questions were asked like, ‘Would we meet people’?  and ‘What is there even to do in Saint Louis’? Yet, with many questions and with all those odds against us we still made the journey to this new life and haven’t looked back since.

A Move of Self-Discovery

Basking in the glory of living in a new city 800 miles away from all that I knew and called home, I realized that now was the time to change who I was, who I wanted to associate myself with and ultimately who I wanted to be. Prior to our move, I had spent a good part of 2012 questioning what I had wanted to do with myself after pursuing my life’s dream of being a professional musician. My main problem was the fact that the entire time I was struggling with self-acceptance, I did nothing to pursue new interests or meet new people.

My first task was to figure out what were the interests that I wanted to explore. With my background being in a majority of music and arts, I had wanted to pursue interests that I never tried before and I wanted to open my horizon to different hobbies as well. I started to find new hobbies, ranging from Doctor Who watching, to knitting, watching movies and cooking new dishes. With a strong idea of what I enjoyed spending my time on I first set sights on meeting other fans of movies. I figured it was a good way to meet other people who were sociable but also enjoyed spending time by themselves in a theater.

I had remembered learning of a website called Meetup.com, where people could get together with like minded folks to venture off and explore in different activities. In my search of groups to join, one of them that caught my attention from the very get-go was the STL Nerdy Girls. With a name like that, the feminist inside of me was elated by an idea of a group of women getting together to hang out, be intellectual and with my new love of all things Doctor Who, this group was encouraging me to be nerdy! I immediately joined and signed up for my first event, a showing of William Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” which was to be viewed in the famous Forest Park. My nerves were a wreck just thinking about throwing myself into a new environment and I wasn’t sure what to expect from my first encounter with the Nerdy Girls. Luckily for me, on the night of the event I was greeted with smiles, beer, Shakespeare and hummus to the effect that I calmed down and realized I was in good company. Under the vastness of Midwestern sky, sitting in the grass and barely listening to actors portraying this great play, I fell in love with the city this night and with it, an appreciation for this group. For I saw the opportunity to really allow myself to be a part of something great. I had what I call a ‘Casablanca’ moment and thought to myself, “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship”.

“We will draw the curtain and show you the picture”

My whole experience with joining the group has left me with this feeling of bewilderment. There is that feeling one gets when they allow themselves to do something that they are unsure of and succeed in completing it. The best way for me to describe it is very close to feeling accomplished. I was accomplished in the fact that I had allowed myself to be fully engage with a group of strangers and I was putting myself into a world that I did not know whatsoever but I dove straight in, head first like the water would not be cold and the tide would never be treacherous.

That leap was the best thing that I could have ever done for myself because it allowed me to be open to the opportunities that I would have usually just ignored. It all began like a whirl-wind, time started to fly by as I filled my calendar with events ranging from yoga in the park, eating out at restaurants, and to crafting in a coffee shop on Sunday afternoons. I was meeting so many women that were successful and led interesting lives; women that were like me – a fresh transplant – to other women that had their Master’s degrees and even had children. They all existed alongside me, in languish to grow and meet new people that it was an amazing feat to be in such commonplace with this group and its variety of people from all walks of life. With that, I was beginning to feel myself grow happier and more confident with every new person I met. My goal was to ultimately find friendships that gave me a positive influence and outlook on the world. I grew tired of living and surrounding myself around doubt and anger that I knew what I needed the most was someone to fall back on. What I started to gain from being a member of this group was acceptance and that was exactly what I had hoped to get out of the group in order to feel more at home in a new city.


There isn’t a conversation in which I don’t talk about the Nerdy Girls. I always mention someone from the group or an event I went to or one that I am planning. I have completely and happily indulged myself in all things with this group and I am better off for doing so. With my life ever so changing at the present time, I have no fears in my mind that here is an organization of people that offer to follow me with my ever-changing life with support and lasting friendships. With its 860 (and counting!) members, I take with me everywhere I go these 800+ people who are nerdy as me and who are there to stand by me in my nerdy ways. This is a place where anyone and everyone can come and meet people who want to talk about their theories on how Sherlock faked his death or visit the Chess Hall of Fame (yes, it does exist and I’m happy to say that it is in Saint Louis. Lucky me!) Leading towards a bright future of the Nerdy Girls, it excites me to grow so acquainted with such a great group. From movie showings and lectures, it is a beautiful friendship indeed to be a member of a tight knit society that encourages strength, individualism and kindness within its association. My only hope is that I can add those attributes to the Nerdy Girls and more, to ensure that the group as a whole reaches success along with my own successes in life in my new hometown.

Author: Carolyn Noe

Carolyn is the Founder & Executive Director of Super Heroines, Etc. She is a recent transplant to Cincinnati and lives with her husband and her dog. She regularly nerds out about Parks & Rec, Firefly, and Pride & Prejudice.


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